Happy Birthday!

I have not written in this blog for a little while.  Things have just gotten a little crazy around here.  For those that know me well, understand that April is a critical month as it is my birthday and my birthday always makes me happy.  My husband told my mom that he gets stressed around my birthday every year because my expectations are huge.  What can I say.  It is my day and no one else's. 

I never take the day off for my birthday because I want everyone to say happy birthday to me. I track everyone who calls and who does not call and I make my list just like Santa Claus on who is naughty or nice.
For some reason it never feels like a real birthday if I don't blow out those candles no matter how many there are.  I refuse to accept the fact that after you reach a certain age you really don't celebrate.    It makes me happy to know that I can celebrate and although people here think it is crazy to have a themed birthday party for a 35 year old woman I really don't care.  This year I had a party and it was fun.  It was a lot of work and I was very tired when it was over but it was well worth it. 

I probably need to credit my mother for having gone above and beyond on all my birthdays, even though she is not a birthday person at all.  I remember all my birthdays and how great they were.  I continue to promote the birthday spirit for my kids' birthdays but even they are not as excited about birthdays like I am. 
I will continue to celebrate and make a big deal out of every birthday and will never allow anyone to take that away from me.  I will also continue to celebrate in style and not compromise quality for practicality.

Lesson of the day: Birthdays are a celebration of you; it marks the beginning of who you have become. You owe it to yourself and your family to celebrate YOU.

Great Teachers

I have not written in a while but winters are hard for our family.  The kids are usually sick which means we are worn out by the time spring comes around.  Well, I had a great experience yesterday and I have concluded that I am happy because it is still possible to find great teachers.

Most of my friends and family were running away from me for six months as I complained about my daughter’s school.  There were a lot of tears and frustrated drop offs and pickups for all of us.  Once the semester was over we made the decision to pull my daughter out and enroll her in a different school in our district.  Not an easy decision to make because as parents you always fear you could be putting your child in an even worse situation.  Fortunately my five-year old was on board and ready to change schools.  The decision was better than we expected.

We have now completed two months in the new school and I had the privilege to volunteer in my daughter’s classroom yesterday.  It was a great experience which I cannot share for confidentiality reasons but I was so impressed with the teacher and how the class was managed that I was beyond myself.  I told the teacher I thought she was awesome and that I was amazed at how she managed the class.  Her response was quite simple.  “I love my job”.   I requested from the principal a Mary Poppins for a teacher and little did I know I would get one.

 I now can say I have my daughter back, and she has recovered her love for learning despite her bad experience at the other school.   Seeing my daughter thrive thanks to a teacher who cares gives me hope that despite low compensation and morale issues in the teaching profession, there are still people who choose to teach for the love of teaching.  I would like to thank Mrs. Simmons and all the teachers who care and make our children’s experience unique and unforgettable.    

My daughter’s quote:  “Mommy you just work, teachers are actually trying to help someone learn something.”

Lesson of the day:  Choose a profession or occupation you love so you can do it well and touch people’s hearts along the way. 

Back from Vacation

Two weeks back from vacation so it is time to get back into the routine.  Vacations are never long enough but aren’t we happy we have them.  As one would expect, finding happy moments when you are just relaxing with the family is way too easy.  So I had to pick my favorites because choosing is also part of growing up. 

First and foremost, the most amazing thing happened on this trip.  I did not fight with a single person on the airplane, at the airport, parking lot, stores etc.. I never thought it would happen to me.  I don’t know if people were nicer (I doubt that), or if I decided to accept that things are not organized and run the way I think they should.  I was proud of myself for that.  So my husband did not have to worry about going to the bathroom and coming back to a full battle zone at the airport.  Resolution to not fight!

In my previous post, I mentioned the orphanage our family adopted for Christmas.  We went to the orphanage and delivered all the items we bought to the 84 kids. They sang for us and were all cleaned up to receive everything.  It was an emotional moment to see all those kids mostly taken in due to neglect and abuse.  The woman in charge is a retired teacher from the state and she runs it on her retirement salary and donations since the Brazilian government has failed to give any assistance since 2009.  My privileged children were able to see the place. My two year old was waving at them and smiling but my five year old was a little frightened by the site.  She had a lot of questions for several days on why the kids were there and why their parents did not want them and it was difficult for us to answer them but we did the best we could.  It was a great experience that will lead to a standing family tradition. I urge everyone to try giving up on your own gifts to give to those who really need it and don’t just want it.

My final happy moment was to be at the beach.  I cannot explain or quantify my satisfaction when it comes to being by the beach.  I love everything about it.  The sound of the waves breaking on the rocks is calming and almost therapeutic.  Running into the water makes you feel like you are five again.  Sitting in the sand and making castles with my kids is one of the greatest joys to me.  It is just liberating.  Aside from the beauty of the beach, I was extremely happy and surprised to see my five year old’s asthma cough go away in 24 hours after we had arrived at the beach.  Truly therapeutic.

Lessons of the day:  Take vacations; they make you think about life and what should be important to you.  Find the things you love and plan to make it part of your daily life, not just vacations.  

I want to move to the beach and feel like I am on vacation. How about you?

Pre-Christmas

This is my pre-Christmas post.  The holiday season can be a very stressful one, when we are running through the crowds, organizing events and wrapping things up at work before a very much needed break.  Despite all the stress that naturally happens this time of the year, I experienced an extremely fulfilling happy moment.  On Black Friday, I went out on a mission to buy clothes for 84 orphans. 

This Christmas the entire family decided to adopt a couple of orphanage/day care places instead of buying gifts for one another.  Everyone gave their contribution and a few members of the family were in charge of purchasing the items.  Since I knew I would not be there to support them and really wanted to have my kids engaged in the process,  I decided to go shopping for the orphans.

I went out on Black Friday with a list of sizes for all of the children.  I was amazed at the level of support I received in the stores.   As soon as I explained my mission in the Carter’s store, I was taken to the back of the store and they brought two full racks of summer clothes on clearance for me to sort through.  The spirit of giving was there and the employees at the store were glad to help.    It was an amazing experience.

Upon arriving at home, my five year old daughter was ready to help sort the clothes.  She was in charge of placing post it notes around the house with the ages so we could sort everything.   I was glad to see her help and be excited to give to those who are not as fortunate as we are.   Instead of saying orphans she calls them ornaments.  I don’t think I will ever forget her change in words.

On the 24^th of December the family is going to drive to the orphanage to deliver an outfit and a toy to all the kids and I am certain it will be a memorable moment for all of us.

Lesson of the day:  Focus on making a difference in someone’s life this holiday season.  Find the ability to give up your wants to fulfill someone else’s needs.

Strong women

I am a little late on my post this week but I hope it will be worth it.  This post is dedicated to strong women.  Being around strong women and reading about them makes me happy.  As I reflected about this post, I ran across an article in the Smithsonian about Marie Curie and her achievements.  The article discusses her Nobel prizes and life and makes the reader aware of the pressures in society for women and what she went through to achieve what she did. From attending school secretly, and saving money to attend Sorbonne in Paris.  I thought to myself, how times have changed and how women have fought and earned their place in society. As I internalized the information, I thought of my upbringing and how I was never aware women were a minority group until I was an adult. I was raised in a family with educated and strong women.  My grandmother was a pharmacist, and at times worked multiple jobs and juggled motherhood like we do today, but she did that over 50 years ago!

I dedicate this post to the strong women in my life and I especially want to dedicate it to my mother because she has over the years demonstrated the greatest strength and has earned her position in society with poise and sophistication.  It is a long story but worth telling.  In the early 70s she came to the United States as an exchange student to learn English and ended up in Indiana where she met my father.  Going abroad at that time was not as common as today with all the globalization and ease of travel.  Long story short at 26 she was divorced and had a 5 year old child to raise. 

We moved in with my grandparents and my mother finished her law degree as she managed motherhood.  At one point she taught at my school in the morning and also worked at the courthouse in the afternoon.  She did it all with humor and satisfaction and never demonstrated frustration with me regardless of how hard it was.  She never remarried and dedicated her life in raising a child as a single parent and as my grandparents aged she took care of them as their only daughter.  As one of my grandparents’ friends told my grandfather one day, “Your daughter is worth 3 men. “  She has always been tough.

As we lost my grandfather, she was able to manage alongside my grandmother the family affairs with no help from others.   Now that my grandmother has left us as well she has now an even more difficult challenge which is to manage it all by herself.  I have confidence she will do a fine job, as the educated and intelligent woman she is, and will make good decisions because she has earned the right and respect to handle her affairs as an independent woman.

I thank her here for all she has done and continues to do for me and also for the woman she has grown into over the years.  You are an inspiration to me and to all the women who aspire to achieve greatness.  I love you.

Lesson of the day:  Strive to achieve greatness and become an inspiration to others.  Thank a strong woman who has made an impact in your life.

Caring

This post is related to caring .  When you have kids, you always wonder how to make them caring and genuine good people.  My kids are now 5 and 2 and one may think that it is too early to see those traits but I beg to differ.

As one would expect, the volume in my house is between loud and louder and it becomes quite chaotic in the mornings before school.  This week I prepared breakfast for both kids and asked them to come on over.  My son came running and screaming "I coming!!!!", sat down and said thank you Mommy.  Score 1x0 for a caring moment.  He actually appreciated what I had done.  Thinking the score was pretty good for a morning, my son continued and called his sister (actually screamed) to come join him for breakfast.  He wanted her there sitting down with him.  2X0!!   Yes they do provoke each other and fight, but they just love each other to pieces and most importantly care about one another.  My son, for instance, will not accept a snack for himself until he is sure he has one for his sister.   And he is only 2!!

My daughter also had a great caring moment with her brother this week.  She ran into him and he fell to the ground.  It was dark and a complete accident.  She hugged him and told him it was an accident and ran to the freezer to get him some ice.  Once again, she cared and stood there making sure he was ok.  He also enjoyed the hug.  She is a good sister and takes care of him on a daily basis.  She will read to him, play with him and even wipe his nose if Mommy and Daddy are tied up.  =)

Aside from caring moments between the kids, Mommy also scored a moment this week.  Knowing how I am, my daughter measured her words and told me that she really loves the quesadilla I make for her to take to school, but was wondering if I could not push it down the container so much because it sticks to the bottom.  I thought to myself, very well spoken and caring.  She wanted to make sure I felt good about my quesadilla making skills and then offered the feedback.  

I also witnessed a caring moment between unrelated kids.  We drove to a friend's house and my kids and hers went out trick-or-treating.  She has 2 boys, ages 9 and 5. It was really interesting to see the 9 year old holding my 2 year old's hand and making sure he did not trip on the steps while they were out.  

Speaking of Halloween, I could not leave my husband out who was coerced to go trick-or-treating, despite not enjoying it just because he cares about us.  Like he told my mom, “I went with the 3 kids in the house and they had fun”.  Thanks Honey! 

Lesson of the day:  Caring is innate but also learned and practicing it leads to a better environment for all of us to live in.

Memories

I decided to write this post on memories.  It turns out that several happy moments throughout the week start or end in memories.  We have recent memories and long-term ones that have been stored in an archive system somewhere between your heart and brain.  This week I went through several memory retrieval moments. 

The first one occurred while moving  pictures from my old imac to my new mac air.  I am not completely done, but have gone through a couple of years of my daughter's life.  During the process, all the emotions tied to leaving the hospital with a newborn, caring for her and understanding at that moment that your life will never be the same return to you.  When I saw the pictures I remembered how it was and how it is and it makes me happy that I have experienced and continue experiencing the gift it is to raise a child.  It also reminds me that Isabella was once as little as her brother and that I have to take it easy sometimes, because although she has grown and is the best sister in the world she is still my little baby.

The other moment I experienced was watching a video of my baptism that my mom was able to transfer to DVD recently.  This video depicts me as a new baby, first child, grandchild ...  It was really interesting to watch this, because it is not a memory I have, but I am sure it is a memory my grandparents carried with them and one my mom still has stored in her archive.  The video shows my mom and grandparents smiling more than I have ever seen just because I was there.  It felt like I was in a Harry Potter story looking through the pensieve and watching this past history.  I have now created a memory of myself watching someone else's memory and that made me happy.

One final thing that made me smile and remember came from hubby.  We were playing with the kids and writing something down our daughter was dictating to us.  I corrected him on something and he told me "You complete me, " mocking the famous Jerry McGuire quote.  So I asked him if I had him at Hello.  I could not take that one without an answer. =)  He smiled and said I had him at, "It depends."  That took me back 12 years ago.  We met in college and I had a ring on my finger in class and he asked me if I was engaged.  My answer to him was, "It depends on who is asking."  Going back and reliving that moment was amazing and remembering our courtship that lead to our union was even better.

Lesson of the day:  Cherrish your memories, as they are part of who you are. Create new memories for you and your loved ones as they will always bring a smile to your face.  You Happy?