Pre-Christmas

This is my pre-Christmas post.  The holiday season can be a very stressful one, when we are running through the crowds, organizing events and wrapping things up at work before a very much needed break.  Despite all the stress that naturally happens this time of the year, I experienced an extremely fulfilling happy moment.  On Black Friday, I went out on a mission to buy clothes for 84 orphans. 

This Christmas the entire family decided to adopt a couple of orphanage/day care places instead of buying gifts for one another.  Everyone gave their contribution and a few members of the family were in charge of purchasing the items.  Since I knew I would not be there to support them and really wanted to have my kids engaged in the process,  I decided to go shopping for the orphans.

I went out on Black Friday with a list of sizes for all of the children.  I was amazed at the level of support I received in the stores.   As soon as I explained my mission in the Carter’s store, I was taken to the back of the store and they brought two full racks of summer clothes on clearance for me to sort through.  The spirit of giving was there and the employees at the store were glad to help.    It was an amazing experience.

Upon arriving at home, my five year old daughter was ready to help sort the clothes.  She was in charge of placing post it notes around the house with the ages so we could sort everything.   I was glad to see her help and be excited to give to those who are not as fortunate as we are.   Instead of saying orphans she calls them ornaments.  I don’t think I will ever forget her change in words.

On the 24^th of December the family is going to drive to the orphanage to deliver an outfit and a toy to all the kids and I am certain it will be a memorable moment for all of us.

Lesson of the day:  Focus on making a difference in someone’s life this holiday season.  Find the ability to give up your wants to fulfill someone else’s needs.

Strong women

I am a little late on my post this week but I hope it will be worth it.  This post is dedicated to strong women.  Being around strong women and reading about them makes me happy.  As I reflected about this post, I ran across an article in the Smithsonian about Marie Curie and her achievements.  The article discusses her Nobel prizes and life and makes the reader aware of the pressures in society for women and what she went through to achieve what she did. From attending school secretly, and saving money to attend Sorbonne in Paris.  I thought to myself, how times have changed and how women have fought and earned their place in society. As I internalized the information, I thought of my upbringing and how I was never aware women were a minority group until I was an adult. I was raised in a family with educated and strong women.  My grandmother was a pharmacist, and at times worked multiple jobs and juggled motherhood like we do today, but she did that over 50 years ago!

I dedicate this post to the strong women in my life and I especially want to dedicate it to my mother because she has over the years demonstrated the greatest strength and has earned her position in society with poise and sophistication.  It is a long story but worth telling.  In the early 70s she came to the United States as an exchange student to learn English and ended up in Indiana where she met my father.  Going abroad at that time was not as common as today with all the globalization and ease of travel.  Long story short at 26 she was divorced and had a 5 year old child to raise. 

We moved in with my grandparents and my mother finished her law degree as she managed motherhood.  At one point she taught at my school in the morning and also worked at the courthouse in the afternoon.  She did it all with humor and satisfaction and never demonstrated frustration with me regardless of how hard it was.  She never remarried and dedicated her life in raising a child as a single parent and as my grandparents aged she took care of them as their only daughter.  As one of my grandparents’ friends told my grandfather one day, “Your daughter is worth 3 men. “  She has always been tough.

As we lost my grandfather, she was able to manage alongside my grandmother the family affairs with no help from others.   Now that my grandmother has left us as well she has now an even more difficult challenge which is to manage it all by herself.  I have confidence she will do a fine job, as the educated and intelligent woman she is, and will make good decisions because she has earned the right and respect to handle her affairs as an independent woman.

I thank her here for all she has done and continues to do for me and also for the woman she has grown into over the years.  You are an inspiration to me and to all the women who aspire to achieve greatness.  I love you.

Lesson of the day:  Strive to achieve greatness and become an inspiration to others.  Thank a strong woman who has made an impact in your life.

Caring

This post is related to caring .  When you have kids, you always wonder how to make them caring and genuine good people.  My kids are now 5 and 2 and one may think that it is too early to see those traits but I beg to differ.

As one would expect, the volume in my house is between loud and louder and it becomes quite chaotic in the mornings before school.  This week I prepared breakfast for both kids and asked them to come on over.  My son came running and screaming "I coming!!!!", sat down and said thank you Mommy.  Score 1x0 for a caring moment.  He actually appreciated what I had done.  Thinking the score was pretty good for a morning, my son continued and called his sister (actually screamed) to come join him for breakfast.  He wanted her there sitting down with him.  2X0!!   Yes they do provoke each other and fight, but they just love each other to pieces and most importantly care about one another.  My son, for instance, will not accept a snack for himself until he is sure he has one for his sister.   And he is only 2!!

My daughter also had a great caring moment with her brother this week.  She ran into him and he fell to the ground.  It was dark and a complete accident.  She hugged him and told him it was an accident and ran to the freezer to get him some ice.  Once again, she cared and stood there making sure he was ok.  He also enjoyed the hug.  She is a good sister and takes care of him on a daily basis.  She will read to him, play with him and even wipe his nose if Mommy and Daddy are tied up.  =)

Aside from caring moments between the kids, Mommy also scored a moment this week.  Knowing how I am, my daughter measured her words and told me that she really loves the quesadilla I make for her to take to school, but was wondering if I could not push it down the container so much because it sticks to the bottom.  I thought to myself, very well spoken and caring.  She wanted to make sure I felt good about my quesadilla making skills and then offered the feedback.  

I also witnessed a caring moment between unrelated kids.  We drove to a friend's house and my kids and hers went out trick-or-treating.  She has 2 boys, ages 9 and 5. It was really interesting to see the 9 year old holding my 2 year old's hand and making sure he did not trip on the steps while they were out.  

Speaking of Halloween, I could not leave my husband out who was coerced to go trick-or-treating, despite not enjoying it just because he cares about us.  Like he told my mom, “I went with the 3 kids in the house and they had fun”.  Thanks Honey! 

Lesson of the day:  Caring is innate but also learned and practicing it leads to a better environment for all of us to live in.

Memories

I decided to write this post on memories.  It turns out that several happy moments throughout the week start or end in memories.  We have recent memories and long-term ones that have been stored in an archive system somewhere between your heart and brain.  This week I went through several memory retrieval moments. 

The first one occurred while moving  pictures from my old imac to my new mac air.  I am not completely done, but have gone through a couple of years of my daughter's life.  During the process, all the emotions tied to leaving the hospital with a newborn, caring for her and understanding at that moment that your life will never be the same return to you.  When I saw the pictures I remembered how it was and how it is and it makes me happy that I have experienced and continue experiencing the gift it is to raise a child.  It also reminds me that Isabella was once as little as her brother and that I have to take it easy sometimes, because although she has grown and is the best sister in the world she is still my little baby.

The other moment I experienced was watching a video of my baptism that my mom was able to transfer to DVD recently.  This video depicts me as a new baby, first child, grandchild ...  It was really interesting to watch this, because it is not a memory I have, but I am sure it is a memory my grandparents carried with them and one my mom still has stored in her archive.  The video shows my mom and grandparents smiling more than I have ever seen just because I was there.  It felt like I was in a Harry Potter story looking through the pensieve and watching this past history.  I have now created a memory of myself watching someone else's memory and that made me happy.

One final thing that made me smile and remember came from hubby.  We were playing with the kids and writing something down our daughter was dictating to us.  I corrected him on something and he told me "You complete me, " mocking the famous Jerry McGuire quote.  So I asked him if I had him at Hello.  I could not take that one without an answer. =)  He smiled and said I had him at, "It depends."  That took me back 12 years ago.  We met in college and I had a ring on my finger in class and he asked me if I was engaged.  My answer to him was, "It depends on who is asking."  Going back and reliving that moment was amazing and remembering our courtship that lead to our union was even better.

Lesson of the day:  Cherrish your memories, as they are part of who you are. Create new memories for you and your loved ones as they will always bring a smile to your face.  You Happy?

My grandmother

Last night I was hit with some sad news and it was extremely difficult to find something positive in what happened.  My grandmother passed away unexpectedly and when I answered the phone I was in shock and am somewhat still in denial.  When you lose someone close to you, for some reason you go through a flashback and remember all the others you have lost over the years.  I am 3 flights away and was not able to go to make it in time.

Happy? Not exactly.  I spent most of the night crying myself to sleep but after hours of talking with my husband, who is the most centered man I know I was able to understand a few things and something in my life changed in the last few hours.   I was able to see how my mom's extended family of cousins, uncles, aunts and friends stepped up to support her in this difficult moment.  This shows compassion is still in everyone's heart and even though sometimes it feels that people have become individualists in their daily grind,  my hope is restored.  Regaining hope in humanity fills my heart with a sense of comfort and happiness that things will be ok after all.

As for my grandmother,  she was probably the strongest woman I knew.  She lived a full life, was loved more than words can say by my grandfather, who unfortunately left her in sorrow for all these years. She was a direct woman with great wisdom who took care of my mother and then became fundamental in raising me into the adult I have become.  We did not see eye to eye on everything but there is one major thing I really have to hand it to her.  She did not compromise.  At some point she must have decided that she was going to live her life on her terms.  So she slept when she wanted, woke up at the time she felt worked for her.  If there was a party, a trip, anything that she did not want to do she just chose not to regardless of what others thought.  Although it may have caused a lot of distress to many people,  but she did what made her happy.  And that is the key to a long lived life.  Do what makes you happy,  limit your compromises and live life to its fullest.  Sounds cliche, but we lose sight of simple concepts like these every day.   She even passed away on her own terms,  at home, with no suffering.  Knowing that she lived life the way she wanted makes me happy.  The pain will remain as it still does for my grandfather after all these years but like my husband says,  you don't get over it you just accept it.

Lesson of the day - Believe in people's ability to have compassion and help in times of need.  Don't compromise by doing things that do not make you happy.  You have one life to live.  Live it with those you love doing what makes you happy.