Memories

I decided to write this post on memories.  It turns out that several happy moments throughout the week start or end in memories.  We have recent memories and long-term ones that have been stored in an archive system somewhere between your heart and brain.  This week I went through several memory retrieval moments. 

The first one occurred while moving  pictures from my old imac to my new mac air.  I am not completely done, but have gone through a couple of years of my daughter's life.  During the process, all the emotions tied to leaving the hospital with a newborn, caring for her and understanding at that moment that your life will never be the same return to you.  When I saw the pictures I remembered how it was and how it is and it makes me happy that I have experienced and continue experiencing the gift it is to raise a child.  It also reminds me that Isabella was once as little as her brother and that I have to take it easy sometimes, because although she has grown and is the best sister in the world she is still my little baby.

The other moment I experienced was watching a video of my baptism that my mom was able to transfer to DVD recently.  This video depicts me as a new baby, first child, grandchild ...  It was really interesting to watch this, because it is not a memory I have, but I am sure it is a memory my grandparents carried with them and one my mom still has stored in her archive.  The video shows my mom and grandparents smiling more than I have ever seen just because I was there.  It felt like I was in a Harry Potter story looking through the pensieve and watching this past history.  I have now created a memory of myself watching someone else's memory and that made me happy.

One final thing that made me smile and remember came from hubby.  We were playing with the kids and writing something down our daughter was dictating to us.  I corrected him on something and he told me "You complete me, " mocking the famous Jerry McGuire quote.  So I asked him if I had him at Hello.  I could not take that one without an answer. =)  He smiled and said I had him at, "It depends."  That took me back 12 years ago.  We met in college and I had a ring on my finger in class and he asked me if I was engaged.  My answer to him was, "It depends on who is asking."  Going back and reliving that moment was amazing and remembering our courtship that lead to our union was even better.

Lesson of the day:  Cherrish your memories, as they are part of who you are. Create new memories for you and your loved ones as they will always bring a smile to your face.  You Happy?

My grandmother

Last night I was hit with some sad news and it was extremely difficult to find something positive in what happened.  My grandmother passed away unexpectedly and when I answered the phone I was in shock and am somewhat still in denial.  When you lose someone close to you, for some reason you go through a flashback and remember all the others you have lost over the years.  I am 3 flights away and was not able to go to make it in time.

Happy? Not exactly.  I spent most of the night crying myself to sleep but after hours of talking with my husband, who is the most centered man I know I was able to understand a few things and something in my life changed in the last few hours.   I was able to see how my mom's extended family of cousins, uncles, aunts and friends stepped up to support her in this difficult moment.  This shows compassion is still in everyone's heart and even though sometimes it feels that people have become individualists in their daily grind,  my hope is restored.  Regaining hope in humanity fills my heart with a sense of comfort and happiness that things will be ok after all.

As for my grandmother,  she was probably the strongest woman I knew.  She lived a full life, was loved more than words can say by my grandfather, who unfortunately left her in sorrow for all these years. She was a direct woman with great wisdom who took care of my mother and then became fundamental in raising me into the adult I have become.  We did not see eye to eye on everything but there is one major thing I really have to hand it to her.  She did not compromise.  At some point she must have decided that she was going to live her life on her terms.  So she slept when she wanted, woke up at the time she felt worked for her.  If there was a party, a trip, anything that she did not want to do she just chose not to regardless of what others thought.  Although it may have caused a lot of distress to many people,  but she did what made her happy.  And that is the key to a long lived life.  Do what makes you happy,  limit your compromises and live life to its fullest.  Sounds cliche, but we lose sight of simple concepts like these every day.   She even passed away on her own terms,  at home, with no suffering.  Knowing that she lived life the way she wanted makes me happy.  The pain will remain as it still does for my grandfather after all these years but like my husband says,  you don't get over it you just accept it.

Lesson of the day - Believe in people's ability to have compassion and help in times of need.  Don't compromise by doing things that do not make you happy.  You have one life to live.  Live it with those you love doing what makes you happy.